There are a lot of people that don’t know what this is. It is primary sclerosing cholangitis . Which is a disease of the liver. I have dealt with it for over 10 years now. Everyone deals with it differently I know that for sure. There is no cure for it, from what I have been told over the years. I know that my specialist watches what they call a MELD score. Every doctor deals with patience differently with this as well. I know when I hit a number she is sending me to the transplant unit to get all my tests done to get on a list.

I am letting you know that with my ulcerative colitis and this some days are hard to get thru. Plus I have to be careful not to be around sick people cause I can get sick easily and it is hard for me to get better.

I have dealt with both of these for over 10 years and when another year goes by I always have questions about what I can do to be more healthy and not in pain. I am going to be changing medication again. This is my 5th one and I wish my body would stop kicking them out and not work.

These last to weeks that is what I have been dealing with. I got sick over Christmas and I been trying to get better ever since then.

So please understand I am going to continue this and share what is going on but each week is different.

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Holiday SeasonHoliday Season

The Holidays are among us and we all are busy with shopping , cleaning, wrapping and planning dinner. I know that each year around this time is one of the hardest times I have to go thru. I lost my mom just before Christmas and her birthday and it has been hard ever since. I know people tell me it will get easier and I don’t see how. The one person I could talk to about anything was my mom and now I don’t have that. I know that I have friends and other family members I can talk to but my mom was different. She loved me for me and it didn’t matter what was going on in our life. She always tries and makes Christmas the best for all of us. I still have the present that I got her that year. I know one year it will be easy for me to get thru the holidays but I am not sure when that will be.

It is never easy being down for the holidays, but I try and put on a brave face and get thru it. Sometimes the ones that are supposed to be there for you, don’t listen and make things harder to handle. I know that I will be fine and get thru the holiday season again, but just remember when you see someone don’t judge them you don’t know what they are going thru.

I want to wish everyone that has followed me and went on this year-long journey with me. I will continue next year where I know I will have challenges that will have to deal with. I know that I will get thru them with help from others and myself.

One day it would be nice to get a prayer answered once, but it will happen when you least expect it.

How to say GoodbyeHow to say Goodbye

I am sorry for the last few weeks I have been under the weather. I am finally getting better but we have been busy getting things in order to get ready to say goodbye to one of our dogs. It is never easy to come to this decision for anyone. We have been trying to give him everything we can to make his life as good as it can be.

I know that over the past few weeks being sick and taking care of everything around here has been difficult for me but I am working thru each day. Plus now I have to worry about myself these days because I have health issues I need to take care of. I know that I don’t talk to others about what is going on but I know that I have to start looking out for myself instead of worrying about others.

I have been doing research into super foods and what helps you. I know that I have been trying to eat these super foods and it has helped me. I know that I will be sharing what I have found and hope it will help others too.

Thank you for the last few weeks and I will continue this journey.

Making SpaceMaking Space

This last weeks I have a lot going on and I need some encouragement. So when I need this I listen to this podcast. Hoda talks to many different people and it makes you think about your own life. It helps me look at my own life and see what I need to change or what I enjoy in life.

Sometimes I need just a day to process everything I was told. So when this happens I have to do something that helps me redirect my mind and take me back. This week I have been baking for a huge craft sale this coming weekend. It has helped me just to calm me.

I know that this life is not going to break me. I am going to find the purpose that I need to do. I am going to figure it out one day.

This is all for the day, I need to figure out something this month. I will be posting more soon.